Blog makeover!!! Shout out to warrior moms everywhere!

I’m reviving my blog!  That’s right, bringing it back to life.  Not only is writing therapeutic for me, but sometimes I feel like just need to vent about humanity, or lack of humanity sometimes.  But this isn’t going to be a negative blog……… sir, there is plenty of that when you turn on the television.  More than likely you will be entertained by my sarcasm and dark humor about life in general, but in particular about the challenges of motherhood.  Or as I like to call it “real life in the motherhood”.

Moms, in my opinion do not get enough credit.  We keep households running, patch up boo boos, help our teens get through their first heart break, make sure our kids are clothed and fed, you get the point, the list goes on and on.  In addition to that though, we have to keep ourselves functioning and sane!!!  Some of us work, some of us go to school, some of us do both and all the while we are trying to maintain our identity of the person we used to be before we simply became known as “Johhny and Jane’s mother”.  And then throw in to the mix something you weren’t expecting, a special needs child, a divorce, having to fight for child support (insert your own struggle here) and now we have become Warrior Moms!!!

If your kids haven’t told you, your ex hasn’t told you, your kids teachers haven’t told you, then let me be the first to tell you today moms……YOU’RE AWESOME!!!

Some of you may know me, and if you do, you will never be surprised at what I write.  Some of you may not know me, except for this blog, and you may be surprised, but you will probably laugh, and you will appreciate my real approach.  I feel we live in an age where there is too much…..far too much women bashing between women.  We need to come together, because nobody realizes your struggle, like another woman, or in this case another mom.

Its time for us to build each up, pat each other on the back and unite and rise up to be the strong women and mothers we were destined to be.  We need to do it for ourselves, not our kids, not our ex partners and not because society tells us to.  We need to do it because we owe it to ourselves to be the best that we can be!!


Being proud of the small things……..

My 13 year old son has Autism. Having a child with special needs makes you learn to appreciate the smallest of accomplishments. My son Alex plays in a basketball league with typical peers, meaning they do not have Autism. Last week Alex got his first basket during a game and don’t get me wrong it was no small thing, it was HUGE! I was proud of him for having the courage to put himself out there, I was proud of his teammates for passing him the ball and working as a team to make it happen, I was proud of his coach for believing in him and last but not least I was proud of the opposing team for not aggressively blocking his shot. In that moment it wasn’t about who was winning or losing. It was about being part of Alex’s accomplishment, it was a collective display of empathy from the whole room. A parent came up to me after the game and said “I got your son’s basket on video, I am so happy I got to witness something so great!”
What does this have to do with the little things? Maybe I’m a little ahead of myself. Alex was a perfect baby, he seemed to cry a lot at times but I was assured it was colic. As time went on I quickly realized it was not colic, as at 2 years old the slightest thing would throw him into tantrums of great proportions that included screaming, banging his head on the floor, scratching himself and even hitting me. By the time he was 3 he added escaping from our home on a regular basis, as well as climbing on top of our refrigerator, entertainment center and kitchen counters. I went for years running on no sleep to make sure he did not hurt himself all the while wondering why he was so violent, why he didn’t talk, why he wouldn’t eat food, at one point I was watching a tv show about people possessed and I quite honestly felt that was a reasonable explanation for what was going on with my son, clearly an exorcism was in order, I thought. Luckily the next day my 5 year old had a check up with the pediatrician and while we were there the pediatrician got to see one of these outbursts first hand. A small child in the next exam room over began screaming which triggered Alex screaming, writhing on the floor as if he himself were in pain and as I sat on the floor holding my hand between his head and the floor so he wouldn’t hurt himself I just waited for it to pass (did I mention I was 8 months pregnant?). After Alex calmed down and I sat on the floor my own hair a wreck at this point I noticed the pediatrician looking at me with her mouth agape “does he ALWAYS DO THAT?” As I got up I just nonchalantly said “yeah”. The pediatrician started to examine Alex and soon referred him to a developmental pediatrician where he was diagnosed with Autism. Some people would be devastated but I was relieved that at least now I knew what I was dealing with. Fast forward to now, 10 years later, after many therapies, counseling and lots of love Alex is at a place where I never dreamed he would be when he was 3. I can not take all the credit because Alex works hard to try to achieve the things he wants, sometimes it can be hard but he doesn’t give up. When Alex started this team in December he didn’t have the coordination to dribble the ball, now I can’t stop him. He couldn’t get the ball high enough to hit the rim let alone make a basket, now he sinks at least 50% of his shots during practice. Alex didn’t come out of the gates knowing how to play basketball, it was a bunch of small victories and they all helped lead up to one great emotionally wonderful moment. Making that first basket during his game will be something he will always be proud of and it’s just one of the many things I’m proud of.

Taking charge…………starting tomorrow

I’ve decided that tomorrow February 1, 2014 will be the day that I take charge and regain some control in my life choices that has clearly eluded me at some point.  I was looking in the mirror the other day, rather disappointed in my appearance.  Not so much because I feel I’m not attractive.  I’m a mother of 4 (my oldest is 23 and my youngest is 9) and as far as aging, I don’t think time has been too incredibly cruel to me.  My disappointment came from the realization that I do not treat myself well, and I’m not talking about getting pedicures here and there and making sure I’m going to the salon on a regular basis to keep up with the latest style.  I realize that I do not eat right (as I currently stare at the 2 Pepsi bottles on my desk), I don’t exercise enough, I don’t sleep enough and even though I’m a massage therapist and I tell clients that addressing their own well being is paramount to happiness, I don’t remember the last time I got a massage.  For the love of all things sacred….what am I doing to myself?  So, starting tomorrow, because the first of a month seems as good a time as any to initiate the beginning of a goal (and because I have one Pepsi left to savor before I kick the hard stuff).  I am committing to a healthier diet that includes more fruits and vegetables, drinking more water, getting more exercise, getting more sleep and taking time out to reflect a lot more than I do.  It seems like we are always in such a hurry, with work, kids, school, practices, etc. etc, that we don’t literally stop and just take a moment to enjoy the little things.

I created the blog for my own accountability.  If people follow it and feel they have some words of wisdom or the ability to hold me accountable as well, I welcome it.  Sometimes we can’t do it by ourselves.

Now if you will excuse me I have to take a moment and bid my farewell to my trusty companion of the past, Pepsi, and assure the sweet concoction that its not him its me, but really, its both of us.